I’m Personally Bad At Following Liturgical Seasons
Sometimes I’m not sure at all about the Christian liturgical year. Today in America, the liturgical year has been effectively gutted, with only Christmas Day and Easter Day being commonly observed by most Christians and nominal Christians. If Lent and Advent are observed at all (and they generally aren’t), they are significantly less austere than they once were. Easter and Christmas have been shortened to singular days. Americans don’t have the patience for traditional Christian understandings of time.
Why are things this way? Sometimes I think it has to do with reasons of consumerism. It isn’t great for the food industry if a significant portion of the population starts fasting for a prolonged period of time. It isn’t good for the toy industry if there is a prolonged period of small gift-giving rather than a large blowout single day.
Sometimes I think the revision is out of an impulse Christians have always had to throw out the baby with the bathwater: Catholics have the liturgical year, so then we Protestants shouldn’t! Jews have the sabbath on Saturdays so we are going to start worshiping on Sundays instead! I have a close friend and Christian brother who is convinced this was one of the first mistakes of the Christian faith—abandoning the Jewish liturgical year. Sometimes I find his views pretty compelling. At least the Jewish liturgical year is found in our bible…
The rub for me nowadays is that I have a really hard time staying in a certain mode for very long. Forty days of fasting and self-denial (Lent) is quite depleting (yes, I know it is supposed to be, but I’m talking about some other not-so-obvious reasons below). Almost equally hard is fifty days of celebrating (Easter). It honestly, at this point, seems quite false. I’m all for trying to intentionally meditate on certain themes in different seasons. Yet so significantly altering the daily rhythms and a family is not just disruptive, but sometimes destructive.
***I’ll talk a bit more about Easter in this article. I should go ahead and say that I don’t like the name. I would much rather prefer to say ‘Passover,’ like the rest of the non-English-speaking Christian world does. Even so, Easter doesn’t come from Ishtar or Assyrian religion. That is just fake news.***
Failing Lent
For the first week of Lent, I didn’t eat anything. My wife was responsible for all mealtimes. Food prep, delivery, and cleanup were all on her plate. I was out of the house whenever the place smelled like food, which was many hours of the day. While a couple of the kids can be useful, it is still a heavy load to carry. Surely the call for a Christian man isn’t to hand all the primary burden of household work to his wife so that he can be in prayer at another location. Or at least, if that is the call, I don’t think I am at peace with that. My wife, for her part, didn’t complain or show any resentment at all. My son sat and cried at the table while sitting down for the majority of those meals because he missed me so much. Perhaps there are some believers who would say that this is just the price a Christian family pays. I have a hard time embracing that.
After a week of this austere (for me) self-denial, I changed my mind. Since then, I have changed my fasting to only breakfasts. I am present and eating for lunch and dinner, helping carry the load for mealtimes (For those of you who don’t have small children, mealtimes can indeed be a pretty heavy load). I am spending the less time in prayer, meditation, and scripture than I was for that first week. But at least I am tending to those in my care. As it stands, this is how I understand myself to be fulfilling my call to be holy as God is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16). I have a loving Father in heaven who never forsakes me. I am similarly called to be constant for those in my care.
Constancy & Dynamism
The constancy required in family life is not marked by constant mourning, nor is it constant celebration. The changing circumstances of life require a changing demeanor, a fluid mental and emotional state, and a dynamic and innovating approach to life. It is a ministry of presence, of being present and emotionally available. A faithful observance of the Christian liturgical year is a threat to this. It requires me to be locked into a certain mode. Instead of a series of prolonged seasons, I rather understand the Christian life to be simultaneously inhabiting the themes of the faith on a daily basis. If my daily life is not marked with self-denial (Lent), thanksgiving and hope (Easter), incarnation (Christmas), and anticipation (Advent) on a daily basis, then I don’t think I’m doing things right. Depending on the day, I need to focus on one or two more than the others.
There is a model of ministry aspiring towards the “non-anxious presence,” which articulates an ideal pastor as one who is not very influenced by the anxieties of whatever situation he’s in. I have found this model pretty problematic since I once heard of it. What is the difference between that and a sociopathic leader? I’m not sure there is much of one. Anxious moments require an anxious presence, lest the leader seem, well, like a sociopath. I have the same concern about liturgical seasons. To be locked into one mode when another is required just seems…unhelpful.
I am at a stage in life in which it is quite difficult to have much constancy from day to day. Five little ones and a beloved wife are in my care, and they all have changing needs. I have to be strong for them, but that means different things from day to day. I find myself increasingly interested in reading about a cross-cultural study across history surveying the ways in which laity have been able to observe these seasons, and the trade-offs required of them in their personal lives. I wonder how it is that Christian households have navigated these trials over the last millennium as these traditions have been firmly established. For my part, I have had to try to reconstruct how to observe them from the small amount of historical reading I have done.
Walking This Tight-Rope
To be clear, I fully understand that the Christian faith requires dear sacrifices, even of family. Just because there is a financial cost to following Jesus (Acts 19:19) doesn’t mean that I’m doing something wrong. Scripture is clear that there should also be relational sacrifices (Matt 10:36). Even so, just because something comes at a cost, that doesn’t automatically mean that God is glorified in such a thing. Sometimes God is glorified when a man is absent from his family. That can be necessary. I guess I’m not altogether sure that it is necessary in the case of yearly liturgical seasons. I think the reason and intention matter. Surely most would agree.
I have known a lot of preacher’s kids throughout my life. I and my two brothers are among them. It is easy for children of clergy to learn to resent the church, and sometimes God, because of the hardships of family life in such households. Sometimes children of clergy just need to learn to do without for the sake of God’s glory. Yet, other times, I think unnecessary hardship can detrimentally try a child’s affections. These occasions of trial come, regardless of what I do. I cannot help but wonder if my attempts toward a more austere faith potentially introduce temptation into my own household.
I sometimes think of Jesus’ response when corrected on his sabbath observance: “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working” (John 5:17). It doesn’t seem to me that Jesus was ultimately concerned with maintaining the perfect observance of holy days. Or, rather, the true perfect observance was marked by God’s character and nature. When establishing his principle for observing the sabbath, he famously stated, “The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath” (Mark 2:27). It seems to me that Christ established the directionality of times of religious observance: our job is to reflect the God we serve in our world. My God responds dynamically to each person depending on the circumstances of our lives, not according to what time of the year it is.
What’s My Agenda Here?
I’m saying lots of words. I don’t want to give the impression that I am interested in changing Christian tradition. I do not think that is a real option. People who try to do that irritate me. If I were trying to change anything right now, I wish the majority of people who claim to be Christian would be more serious in attempting to designate times to reflect on things that the liturgical seasons point us towards. Christians should fast more, and better. We should rediscover holy celebration. We should reclaim the daily importance of the incarnation and the eschaton.
Even so, observance of Christian liturgical seasons can easily complicate attempts to live authentically Christian lives in the world.
Evidence to the Contrary
Last night, I officiated the worship of at least my dozenth Good Friday worship service as a pastor. I didn’t even plan it out this year. I was too tired and distracted. I let my wife draft the bulletin. I let my eldest daughter select the readings. I just showed up and followed what was planned. Yet my heart followed. Right at the beginning of the service, I realized my mind was firmly transported to the cross. I wasn’t faking as I heavily led the congregation through the prayer, scripture, and meditation of that time. Had I not committed myself to those reflections at place and time, I would have had a very different kind of night, one in which I surely would not have been so marked by the goodness of Good Friday. So there is definitely something to be said for intentional religious observance: it bears spiritual fruit.
I think my only critique on the liturgical year here is that one must not be slavish about such observance. Maybe that is all this really boils down to.
Family Is a Real Trial, Though…
Today is Holy Saturday. Before children, my practice on Holy Saturday was to attempt silence from the close of Good Friday worship until Easter morning. For reasons I have already articulated, this isn’t really a realistic way for me to observe this holy day anymore. My wife and children need for me to communicate with them if they are to have a functioning household and emotional life. It is upsetting when daddy just won’t talk. And it is likewise selfish of me to simply disappear to the church all day and leave them to themselves.
Christ warned about the threat of family to faith in Luke 14, saying that we must count the cost when we decide what other loyalties to hold. Paul similarly warned that the responsibilities of family can and does complicate the spiritual lives of believers (1 Corinthians 7). If at all possible, I honestly do think it is best to remain single in order to be more disciplined in our spiritual lives. Even so, most of us burn with passion too much to consider that seriously. Thank God we were given marriage as a concession. Yet this way of life is filled with compromises of all sorts that have spiritual consequences.
Woe is me, right? I have a wonderful wife and five lovely children. Even so, I think this is still worth writing this down, as I represent a lot of people who are trying to live faithfully amidst tumultuous lives. Too many justify themselves, neglecting to pursue God seriously because of how available distractions are. This should not be. Mature women and men of faith should strive earnestly to have times and seasons of intentional meditation and growth. When life does not afford perfect consistency, then we should have the courage to adjust course and continue to do our best, trusting that God will supply that which is lacking.
As with many other things, the Christian life is like a pressure cooker: Too much pressure, and things will blow, but not enough pressure and nothing will cook. (This is not my metaphor, but I don’t remember whose it is) When looking at my own cultural context, I am more concerned with those who don’t try hard enough than I am with those who try too hard. I guess I want to simultaneously encourage folks to be more faithful in their liturgical observance while also anticipating how many are turned off by how ridiculous and unreasonable such observances can be for those of us responsible for the lives of spouses and children.
We need discipline. We need seasons of reflecting on things that we are not naturally drawn to or good at. God doesn’t call us to do what we already want to do. He calls us to pursue him in ways that are sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes inconvenient, sometimes even painful for us and the ones we love. Today is such a day. Days and seasons like this will come. As they continue to do so, I and other earnest believers need to be more reluctant to excuse ourselves.
Wrapping Up
It is right now time to put my kids to sleep for their midday siesta. I will have a time of earnest silent meditation and prayer as they sleep. I hope God is pleased despite my obvious shortfalls.
In the coming weeks, the season of my Lord’s resurrection will require intentional celebration and rejoicing. This is hard for me when I have been given responsibility for creatures who scream, cry, get sick, and regularly test me. In such a season, I will be required to deny myself and intentionally put myself in the position to think and feel things I would not otherwise. God will be faithful to me, and to all of us, as he has been in every season of life.
Jeffrey,
I smiled as I read your entry. It seems to me that the key word that is missing in all your words here is "season," as in (for example): "I and my wife and our family are in a particular season." I don't think this the "season" for long drawn-out times of meditation and fastings and Scripture readings. This is the "season" for doing what you can, not what you can't. Frankly, I was amazed that you were able to fast breakfast during Lent! Wrangling five children at any mealtime is a herculean task! And look what the Lord did for the Good Friday service when it became more of a family affair... such a brilliant way to do it, too.
As for Liturgical Seasons, Christian v Jewish and so on... you are correct that the secular world does not follow the Church calendar. They follow their own. To me, this is all the more reason to grab hold of the Christian Calendar. It is yet one more way to say that the rhythms and practices of the people of Jesus are quite different than those of the world. It is indeed why the early believers gravitated to the first day of the week as opposed to the seventh day. Do we do it perfectly? Of course not. And we are certainly all over the map on this. Some believers are no different than the world. Others are very rigid about it. I have found it to be a way to honor both the Lord and those who have come before us (I pay attention to many of the saints' days, or at least, those that are meaningful to me, and our branch of the Church Universal). It is like anything else: when you can do something at any time, you end up not doing it any time. So, the calendar focuses our minds and hearts on one aspect of the Lord's life, and the Church and saints, at a time. It is all I can do to manage that much in a day or week.
Well, those are my thoughts. I always appreciate reading yours.
Resurrection blessings to you and your family!
The Liturgy is a big reason I worship where I do and for much of my spiritual growth! I lean into every aspect of it now, from daily readings to only splurging (going out to eat) on feast days. This Good Friday we did a cross walk prior to service (dragging a cross 1/2 mile). We had 60 people show up and walk and over a dozen carried. Keep in mind we regularly only worship 80-90. The service itself was the last words of Christ and several readers openly weeped. It was so meaningful and made the celebration Sunday so much more meaningful. My prayer is for all Christians to adopt this liturgical rhythm of life and be “together “ no matter where you are in the world!