I’m not a hardworking man, but I still get pretty tired. My wife likes that my hands aren’t soft, and I sometimes do projects requiring physical toughness, but for the most part I’m a white collar guy. I’m not out in the fields growing crops, or in a garage fixing cars, or in a cave mining coal. My days are mostly spent inside, sitting down, talking to people. Even so, I’m often tired. Especially in my home, which is my place to refuel and relax, I often deeply feel the need to sit down and rest.
The problem is that I have a toddler who has been missing me all day. When she sees me, she says ‘hey!’ and does a happy dance, making her way over to me. Her joy will quickly turn to distress if I do anything other than pick her up and carry her. She will smile and extend her arm, gesturing in the direction she wishes to float.
There is nothing else she wants. She doesn’t want to sit on my lap or play on the floor. She wants her father to carry her. Standing still isn’t an option; we must move through space together. The best-case-scenario for her is to go outside and look at the chickens, the trees, the cars driving by. She waves at passers by from the comfort and safety of her father’s arms. My mind is often drawn to the hymn:
What a fellowship! What a joy divine:
Leaning on the everlasting arms!
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine!
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms.
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms…
Freud once said that one’s relationship with one’s father is the single-most important factor in their relationship with the Father in Heaven. I don’t know how true that is, but the weight sits upon me. Regardless of its truth, a more fundamental truth is that my Lord requires that I show the same kind of love he has shown me through Christ Jesus.
Once, when Jesus was very tired, he desired to retreat from the crowds and made great efforts to do so. However, the people were desperate to be in his presence. They followed him. And despite his tiredness and penchant for irritation, he looked upon them with pity, as he could see that they “were like sheep without a shepherd.” So he stayed and ministered to them (Mark 6:30-44). Jesus poured himself out for us despite the fact that he didn’t always like us, despite the fact that he could have been in heaven. The people needed him; he gave himself to them. Because I am a Christian, a disciple of Jesus, I give myself for others even, especially, when I am tired.
I actually butchered that story a bit. In that story, it is actually the disciples who have been worked to the bone, having been sent out to work miracles and proclaim the good news among the people. When they come to report, Jesus seems to see that they are tired, so he tells them to come away with him and rest. But when the people follow, who are like sheep without a shepherd, Jesus puts them up to a day of serving the needy. In fact, when the day has been filled with ministry, the disciples remind Jesus to send them away because they are hungry and need to eat. What does Jesus say? “You feed them.” He says that to disciples who are tired and have been working hard. Jesus meditates on this dynamic in Matthew 9:37,
“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the Harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”
I earnestly believe that taking up his little ones in my arms, as he has taken me up in his arms, is a way of fulfilling this commandment to serve as Christ serves.
I will not know this joy of service if my felt needs come first. I will not know the nature of Christ if I refuse to serve until I myself am served. The virtues of perseverance and patience will not be brought forth in my life if I do not push through my own feelings of exhaustion.
I remember my son once needed to be held by me when he was in trouble. I would be in the middle of lecturing him sternly, and he would stand against me, raise his arms, saying “Hold you, hold you, hold you.” I always thought that was meant to teach me that that should be my own tendency when I have sinned: To earnestly petition the Lord for forgiveness and the resulting intimacy. I took joy in holding my little boy.
As I am writing this, my daughter, Abigail, crawled up in to my seat with me and started threatening to hit my keyboard as I’m typing, so I hold her and walk around the house. She is particularly petulant and eventually screams at me and scratches my neck. “Fine then,” I say, and put her down. Forlorn, she wanders aimlessly, crying across the kitchen. She finally turns to me, I pick her up, she rests her head on my shoulder.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…”
How often have I cast all my cares upon him and found him able to take my burden, such that I can rest peacefully. Such that I have that peace that surpasses all understanding? In my own petulance, perhaps for a time my Lord will say, “Fine then” and put me down. If I insist on raging, then surely I cannot be in his presence. But if I sweetly submit, will he not take me upon his breast and give me comfort?
You know me: You know I have to show the hard part of any given teaching. Here it is:
Jesus says quite explicitly that fulfilling our Christian call goes far beyond our own biological families. It extends to even our enemies. As Christ died for those who were crucifying him, I likewise die to self and pour myself out for those who hate me. Similarly you, if you claim the name of Jesus, are told by your Savior: “You feed them.”
“Do you love me?” the resurrected Christ asked Peter three times. “Yes,” he answered three times. “Then feed my sheep,” Jesus said. Peter fed Jesus’ sheep until they crucified him upside down. Christians have been doing so ever since.
The other hard part of this is that we are currently living in a time of great narcissistic selfishness. Parents increasingly resent the responsibility placed on them by the children they created. They often choose to see children as a means to their own fulfillment, feeling no guilt when their bad decisions cause their children to suffer. Fathers, if they are present in the household at all, are not generally known to serve in this way. They are known to cower before resentful wives and stay out at work as long as possible. They stay away from the home, or create a ‘man cave,’ so as not to disrupt the peace of the house. Without a strong father, the house cannot be at peace. Our souls are not at rest until they find their rest in our Father in heaven. Likewise, a child needs a father. Even if a mother is not happy, a child needs a father. Fathers need to show up, pick up the kids, carry them through the world.
And they need to model care of others, pouring out themselves for others, that their children might know and show the love of Christ to others as they become adults.
Until Christ comes again in glory, this is the way. It is the way of sorrow and suffering. It is the culture of the bride of Christ, the church, that we practice and inculcate one another in all our lives. We do not make room for the evil one, who teaches us to pity ourselves. Nor do we become content in the alacrity of creature comforts. Rather, as Paul says, “I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”
There is an eternity of bliss and joy awaiting us. It begins with unwavering service now. Pick up your cross. The days are evil and the laborers are few. Pray the Lord will commission you to the harvest.