There is a man I used to see more frequently than I do today. I always liked him. He was very genuine and gracious. I could tell that he was exceptionally conscientious, that he didn’t stereotype me or others, that he actively wished blessing on others.
One day he told me of a book he had read about a girl who grew up in a fundamentalist religious tradition, which effectively scarred her over time as it warped her image of God, herself, and others. “Jeffrey, what guards us from this kind of harm?” he asked.
I could tell my answer didn’t satisfy him: “Nothing.” Nothing keeps us from getting harmed. The harm principle is helpful in some regards. The Methodist General Rules of the United Societies has only three main rules, the first of which is “Do no harm.” Yet the problem is that harm is, for most people, subjectively determined. That means people do not typically see harm as something universal that affects all people the same way. Rather, different people are harmed by different things because they associate the subjective experience of pain with harm.
But pain isn’t always harmful. Sometimes it is very helpful, like when one throws up after eating something rotten, or a doctor sets a broken arm, or when my wife hurts my feelings by saying I shouldn’t wear some of my old clothes anymore. Pain is a part of life. Serving the poor is painful. A cross is painful. So what do we do with a Savior who tells us to take up our cross daily?
That isn’t to say that all pain is good. Some pain is surely bad. So how do we know the difference? This is where the true and eternal question is. Christians believe in an objective, universal harm. The bible calls it sin. And we do not have to determine what sin is, most of the time. God has told us how to lead lives in which we are not alienated from him by willful harmful words, thoughts, and deeds. Yes, we need discernment, but we also need obedience. If that means we will be harmed by other people along the way, or even that we have to lose part of ourselves, it will be good, for we will be firmly in God’s hand.
My friend wasn’t satisfied with my answer. He did not choose to walk closely alongside me. I still hope he does, because I like him. For the time being, he seems to have had a failure to launch, either intimidated by what might go wrong, or not wanting to give up his sin, or maybe something else. The way I read the bible, Jesus is indeed asking us to live our lives in a way that subjects us to pain, that is radically different from the world around us, that looks like a cult to outsiders. If we cannot accept this, then the only other option is either to reject Jesus, or simply to create a lukewarm version of him. The problem is: Lukewarm Jesus doesn’t save. Only Jesus saves, and he has told us how it will be with those who are ashamed of him:
“Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”
-Luke 9:26
“If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
- Matthew 5:29-30
“I know your deeds,that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”
- Revelation 3:15-16
The scriptures were written for us to avoid all harm, present and future, or, “to flee from the wrath to come.” In the end, we cannot sit on the fence. YOU cannot just sit on the fence. You just have to do it. So do it. Follow Jesus.